a few weeks ago i came to the realisation that some of the people who immediately come to mind when i think of the word ‘friend’ aren’t actually what i would consider to be friends anymore. and it’s sort of happened without me noticing. if i think back, i can pinpoint when this happened; it happened when i had a child. no, before then even: when i first told people i was pregnant. it seems as though from that point onwards, half of the people i know changed. some of the people i used to see every week have only seen my child once or twice; some wouldn’t have ever seen him had we not bumped into them on a Saturday afternoon a long time ago. and some have never seen him at all. and i’m sort of deciding from now on, to put those people to one side. if after four years they still haven’t come to terms with the fact that my other half and i have a child, then that’s up to them. if they’ve already written us off as our lives being over; again, up to them. i still have friends who accept that i have better things to do at a weekend than sleep off last night’s hangover. and they may live further away than i’d like, and i may see them only a few times a year; but the fact that they accept that i have a family now means a lot to me. the fact that when they invite us over they extend the invitation to my son, is worth more than the sum of all the others who don’t.


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