At the moment, I’m living a life of two halves: One that is Normal, and one that is Real.
In my Normal life this week, I got my son ready for his first day back at school; tried on uniforms, turned up trousers, ironed polo shirts. There wasn’t a lot I could do with the jumpers – the smallest size the school has is still ever so big on my four-year-old.
He started back on Tuesday, so I finally had some time to myself. I bought some more hoops and some Xmas material online. I plan to make a bunch of decorations – all of the magazines have Xmas things in at the moment – and try to sell them. Okay, so this still revolves around me getting my Etsy shop set up and fast – I’ve roped my husband in on this now, possibly my brother-in-law too. But I guess I may as well try and get started on this sooner rather than later. I’ll have a lot of time off during the day to make things, and once I get started I think I’ll be on a roll.
I also bought some black cotton bags – I’ve almost finished sewing up one of them – the prototype I guess – and when it’s done I’ll post photos.
I had a great Date Night with The Mister and enjoyed a lovely meal.
And I’ve watched Brewster’s Millions on TV twice. I love it, and I watch it every time it’s on.
My Normal life has been quite chilled.
In my Real life this week, I mostly waited.
I waited for four hours at The Christie to be told I wasn’t well enough to have my Chemo this week. My white blood cell count was too low for it to go ahead. I have to have my bloods done next week instead – which happens to be the same day we have to go to Birmingham for my appointment with the surgeon I was told to ask to be referred to. I’ll have to have my bloods done, see the nurse again to see if I get the green light to have chemo the following morning – and then make the two-hour drive for my first consultant appointment.
I’m trying not to get too optimistic about it, not least because I saw another surgeon the day after being refused chemo, where after waiting for three hours we were told he wasn’t keen on doing the operation either because it would involve a full pelvic exenteration in order to get to the node that is affected.
So In my real life, I’m waiting again, knowing that the change in Chemo dates affects every other date we have put in the calendar because everything has been planned as to how well I’ll feel. Now it’s all messed up: the party we were going to go to is now going to be two days post chemo; the wedding on the 20th only a week or so after as opposed to two.
I have this one last chance lined up for next week: this super-surgeon who does a lot of laparoscopic work, and who may be able to remove this node without taking away healthy organs.
In my Real life, I’m on pins.